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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27708995">Bible rewrites</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbug1/pseuds/Starbug1'>Starbug1</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Christian Bible (Old Testament), Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Baby God, Bible, Canon Rewrite, Gen, SPN - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:55:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,237</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27708995</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbug1/pseuds/Starbug1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of bible stories that have been rewritten. Details may be changed or change.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Balaam's donkey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Israelites travelled and camped in the plains of the Maoh, across the river was Jericho. Balak, the son of Zippor, saw what the Israelites had done to the amorites, and Moab was terrified and filled with dread, because of the amount of Israelites on the plains.</p>
<p>The Moabites went to the elders of midian to complain about them. The son of Zippor, Balak, he was the king of Maoh he sent a messenger to summon Balaam, the son of Beor who was at pethor, near the Euphrates River in his native land.</p>
<p>"People have come out of Egypt and settled next to me." Balak said "I want you to come and curse them then maybe then I can drive them. I know that who you bless is blessed and who you curse is cursed."</p>
<p>He gave the elders of Maoh and Midian the fee for Balaam, when they got to him they told him what Balak had told them.</p>
<p>"Spend the night here." Balaam said to them "And I will report back." So they stayed the night.</p>
<p>God came to Balaam that night and asked "Who are these men?"</p>
<p>"Balak the son of the king of Maob sent me this." Balaam told him the same message that was sent to him.</p>
<p>God said to Balaam "Do not go with them. You must not put a curse on those people for they are blessed."</p>
<p>The next morning Balaam got up and said to Balak's officials "Go back to your own country for God will not let me go with you."</p>
<p>The moabite officials returned to Balak and said "Balaam has refused to come with us."</p>
<p>Balak sent other officials more numerous and distinguished than the first. They came to Balaam and said "This is what Balak says: do not let anything keep you from me for I will reward you handsomely. Come put a curse on these people for me."</p>
<p>"Even if Balak gave me all silver and gold in his kingdom I can't do anything great or small that would go against the lords command." Balaam said to them "Now spend the night here so I can find out what else the lord will tell me."</p>
<p>God came to Balaam that night and said to him "Tomorrow go with them, but do what I tell you."</p>
<p>Balaam got up the next morning and saddled his donkey and went with the officials. God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the lord appeared before them.</p>
<p>Balaam was riding his donkey, which he didn't name, and his two servants were with him. Only the donkey could see this angel, the angel had a sword in its hand, when the donkey saw this angel it moved off the road into a field.</p>
<p>Balaam beat the donkey to get it back on the road, this action angered the angel but it didn't make a move. Then the angel stood in a narrow path through the vineyard, with walls on both sides.</p>
<p>When the donkey saw the angel, it pressed close to the wall crushing Balaam's foot. He beat the donkey again, this made the angel even more angry.</p>
<p>Then the angel moved to a narrow place where there was no room to move left or right. When the donkey saw the angel it lay down and Balaam got angry and beat the donkey with his staff. At this point the angel was furious.</p>
<p>Before the angel could do anything to the God opened its mouth and it said this to Balaam "What have I done for you to beat three times?" </p>
<p>Balaam answered the donkey "You have made a fool of me! If I had a sword I would kill you right now."</p>
<p>The donkey said to Balaam "Am I not your own donkey, that you always ride? Have been in the habit of doing this?" </p>
<p>Balaam answered his donkey "No."</p>
<p>Then God opened Balaam's eye to see the angel standing in the middle of the road with it's sword drawn and a murderous look on its face. He bowed down and fell facedown.</p>
<p>The angel asked him "Why have you beaten this donkey? I have come to oppose you because your path is reckless. Your donkey saw me and turned away, I would have killed you if it hadn't. I would have spared it."</p>
<p>Balaam said to the angel "I have sinned. I did know you were standing in the way, if you are displeased I will go back."</p>
<p>The angel didn't say a word, for the actions of the human have angered it, the angel put the sword in the ground and approached Balaam while the donkey ran to safety.</p>
<p>The angel proceeded to beat Balaam, the pleading from his servants couldn't stop it for they were terrified of the angel, not even his fathers pleas could stop the angel from beating Balaam.</p>
<p>Once the angel was calmed Balaam was a bloody mess, had broken ribs, the angel did not kill him for his death will soon come to him. The angel went up to the donkey unsaddled it, picked up his sword and took the donkey with him.</p>
<p>The angel said to his father up in heaven, "I shall not return home for this donkey and others like it are being treated cruelly. I shall only return home when this cruelty has stopped."</p>
<p>So the angel took the donkey to the nicest city and set up a sanctuary for abused, abandoned and old donkeys.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Bible rewrite: God gets kidnapped</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>For context, I was talking to someone on Tumblr about spn gods being babies and we came up with with the whole family gods.<br/>There's four of them<br/>Apila - mother<br/>Shadow/entity - father<br/>Olpirt - light/Chuck<br/>Ors - dark/Amara</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He knew it was his turn to look after his children, just like the children he made on his worlds they were very curious. His youngest had gone missing on one of his worlds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was around this time that the Israelites had gone to war with the Philistines and had lost the arc, on which he conducted his meetings with his creations, even if they were selfish about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His youngest child, called Olpirt or Light, was drawn to this arc as it was touched by his father and held great power. Light was curious about the upright creatures that his father had made. They were carrying the arc but he didn't know where he, or they, were going.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Philistines fought off the Israelites and they abandoned the arc, and the Philistines captured it and took it to their holy tent and placed it next to a statue of Dagon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the Philistines had gone to sleep, Light attempted to pick up this statue, but his little appendages just went through it. He attempts this for most of the night, eventually he does pick it up but soon drops it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Ashdod arose the next morning to find the statue of Dagon had fallen on his face before the arc, they picked it and placed him back in his place. Light watched as they picked up the statue with little to no effort and made grabby hands at it, unfortunately the Philistines couldn't see him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That night Light again made attempt after attempt to pick up this statue, he got very frustrated at all the failed attempts. He used what little powers he had to move the statue and removed Dagons hands and head. He threw away Dagons hands and head and they landed at the entrance to the holy tent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After this incident the shadow came to collect his son and took him back to his heaven.</span>
</p>
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